and you said cock pushups were impossible
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
