I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
