nut hugger
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
