I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
