So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
