so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
