just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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