I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
