I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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