who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
