your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
