you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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