Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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