I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
