Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
