If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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