I wish life had little blips of pornography
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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