Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
