I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
