Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
