I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize