They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
