You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I forget how to act sober
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
