drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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