I just saw a hot homeless man
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
