do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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