and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
