you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
