Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
