I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
