is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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