I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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