I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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