forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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