i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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