Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
