i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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