I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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