My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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