Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
