Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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