So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
