Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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