Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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