His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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