you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
did i walk over a car last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
