He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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