yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize