If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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