There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
