He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Found your dick twin last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
