Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
