My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
