I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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