Little spoons don't ask big questions
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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