careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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