You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
