If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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