I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it glows. i had to have it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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