I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
